the Good Shepherd Sisters in Bangkok, Thailand
Social prescriptions
Latter-day Saints are encouraged to exercise, eat healthy, interact with others, and use their own initiative to do good in the world. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints offers structure and programs that facilitate these activities.
An article in the Wall St. Journal discusses some of the science behind the benefits of these activities.
‘Social Prescriptions’: A Good RFK Jr. Idea
Exercise, nutrition, art and connection can all help keep people healthy.
By Julia Hotz Nov. 19, 2024
Excerpts:
Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s... stated mission—to end chronic disease by treating root causes—is supported by data showing 80% of our health is determined by behavioral, social and environmental factors.
...
Leaders in Massachusetts, New Jersey, Vermont and Utah have created programs effectively prescribing art, nature and social connection.
The idea is called “social prescriptions”—healthcare referrals for nonmedical, community-based resources and activities. Instead of focusing on “What’s the matter with you?” health workers ask “What matters to you?” and offer a social prescription—sports lessons, art classes, or even food and job support—connected to that answer.
A recent analysis of 14,000 people highlighted the effectiveness of exercise as treatment for depression, while another found nature-based physical activity prevented nearly 13,000 cases of noncommunicable diseases like heart disease and cancer. Large-scale analyses associate arts engagement and volunteering with improved stress management and cognitive functioning in older adults and longevity. And tons of longitudinal data find that strong social connections, the ultimate goal of many social prescriptions, help people live longer. Social prescribing also eases pressure and spending on healthcare by reducing doctor and emergency-room visits, as evidenced already in the U.K., where it is more widely used.
Beyond the data, in my reporting around the world, I’ve seen firsthand how social prescribing can help otherwise hopeless patients feel better. I’ve seen it in people like Frank, whose cycling prescription helped him lose 40 pounds, come off his insulin, and make friends; Akeela, whose prescription for volunteer work helped curb her back pain and depression and find a new sense of purpose; and Glenn, whose prescription for a phone-call buddy helped him overcome loneliness and take steps to manage his own health.
Social prescriptions are no panacea. But if the Trump administration is serious about ending chronic disease, it would be wise to invest in social prescribing as a safe, bipartisan way to create chronic health. Especially as political extremism drives us further apart, social prescribing can reconnect us to each other.
Ms. Hotz is author of The Connection Cure: The Prescriptive Power of Movement, Nature, Art, Service and Belonging.
Overriding natural pessimism
It made sense to be pessimistic in the past. But modern society is far safer, with limited downside and unlimited upside. Adapting for modern society means overriding your natural pessimism.
A spiritual mandate for educational innovation
BYU Pathway is changing the world.
https://www.deseret.com/opinion/2024/07/08/spiritual-mandate-education-innovation-ces-byu/
The nation’s higher education establishment is dealing with much more than a passing PR problem. From rising costs to questions about relevance and the very definition of moral character, recapturing public trust will demand substantive action and innovation. Parents, students and employers are looking for academic institutions to better reflect the needs and values of their communities.
It is in this climate that the distinctive educational offerings provided through The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are of increasing relevance and value. Enrollment in the Church Educational System continues to defy declining national trends — over the past 20 years, enrollment in church universities, including BYU, BYU-Idaho and BYU-Pathway, has grown nearly threefold, increasing from 60,000 students in 2000 to nearly 150,000 students today.
At a time when national observers are concerned about the demand for higher education, this growth stands out from the downward trends. Just over a decade ago, Pew reported that an overwhelming majority of college graduates (86%) said their degree was “a good investment for them personally.” But this year, Pew released a report that suggests that a mere 1 in 4 adults in the United States believe it’s “extremely or very important” to get a four-year degree in order to obtain “well-paying” employment. Almost 50% of Americans say a four-year diploma is less important for employment than it was 20 years ago. Whereas rates of college attendance are increasing in other nations, the United States is in a 13-year slide.

Negative attitudes toward higher education reflect two trends. First, spiraling tuition prices are increasing the total cost of attendance, and second, too much of higher education is not relevant to today’s job market. Additionally, in some corners, the academy has become increasingly governed by agendas that don’t reflect the moral values of most American families.
In such a setting, CES provides a unique resource through its faith-based governance and spiritual mission. CES’s governance, financial stewardship and innovative approaches have kept the church’s educational offerings both affordable and relevant, especially in a season of uncertainty.
The benefits of a college degree include increased self-reliance, enhanced reasoning abilities, higher civic and community engagement, broader social networks, higher marriage rates and deepened appreciation for different perspectives. Extensive data show college graduates have substantially higher earnings throughout their career than those who don’t have a college degree. In short, education remains a good value proposition overall.
Value in the Church Educational System
Of course, the value of an education only increases as costs are managed and student benefits are strengthened. Costs can be measured not only in the tuition price but also in time to graduation and the amount of debt required to obtain a degree. In turn, benefits are strengthened through increased learning, impactful social networks and professional opportunities. Innovation on the campuses of BYU, BYU-Idaho and other church institutes are distinctively helping increase the value of a degree by managing both the costs and increasing the benefits of an education.

On cost and affordability, the church’s governance of its education system has kept the student expenses remarkably affordable. Church schools receive significant and generous tithing support, but they have also been expected to innovate in ways that keep the actual costs financially sustainable.
It’s one thing to be committed to affordable education through subsidies such as tithing, taxes and donations. It’s another to answer the call from inspired church leaders to innovate in service of students and society. Such efforts have led to the year-round, three-track calendar at BYU-Idaho; online learning and the use of distributed chapels through BYU-Pathway; reducing time on campus at BYU-Hawaii by leveraging early academic progress in BYU-Pathway and launching a 90-credit bachelor’s degree at Ensign, BYU-Idaho and BYU-Pathway.
There is also a fiscal discipline that’s visible across CES. The foundations of this discipline were laid generations before any of us assumed our current assignments. Those principles of frugality were practiced over a generation of leadership, where variable expenditures were held below inflationary increases. These small differences, applied over decades, have also helped to support the affordable college tuition our students realize today.
Indeed, church schools provide some of the most affordable post-secondary educational opportunities. U.S. News has ranked BYU No. 2 in the country in graduates with the least amount of debt, and No. 11 as the best value school. BYU is No. 20 in the Best Colleges in America rankings from The Wall Street Journal, which puts a very strong emphasis on the value added by colleges. BYU-Idaho is ranked No. 1 by Payscale as best in value in first-year return on investment. BYU-Idaho is also ranked No. 1 in value for universities by College Consensus. Finally, recent data also show that students at BYU and BYU–Idaho have significantly lower student loan default rates, 1.5% and 3.1%, respectively, far below the national average of 10.1%.
Relevance in the Church Educational System
Church education’s emphasis on employment, provident living and self-reliance are especially relevant today as some within higher education drift away from market needs and a student-centric focus. The certificate-first approach at BYU-Pathway, the job skills training at Ensign College, the workplace experience of BYU-Idaho faculty, the work-study programs at BYU-Hawaii, and the curricular integration and inspired learning opportunities at BYU all aim to help enhance employment prospects of students.
But being relevant in today’s environment also means taking seriously our charge to develop disciples of Jesus Christ who can be leaders in their homes, the church and their communities. It’s an approach which seeks to develop the whole student. This requires ongoing efforts to hire faculty who are aligned with this mission, the growth and reach of religion and student success courses and devotionals from presidents that amplify prophetic counsel.
An educated workforce is vitally important, but in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, there are deeper, spiritual reasons to pursue education. This includes the spiritual nature of learning and the increased opportunity that education brings in serving others. As Russell M. Nelson, president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has stated, “In the Church, obtaining an education and getting knowledge are a religious responsibility. We educate our minds so that one day we can render service of worth to somebody else.” This is why the church works to provide affordable education that is valuable in both the workplace and in a student’s lifelong spiritual and intellectual development.
How the Church Educational System and its schools respond to the challenges facing higher education writ large will reflect the divinely inspired direction which continues to shape our trajectory. Speaking of BYU specifically, President Dallin H. Oaks of the church’s First Presidency, said, ”(I) firmly believe that it is the destiny of Brigham Young University to become what those prophetic statements predicted it would become … this great goal will not be attained in exactly the same way that other universities have achieved their greatness … it will become the great university of the Lord ― not in the world’s way but in the Lord’s way.”
These are the aspirations that inspire BYU, BYU-Idaho and the entire Church Educational System to elevate our efforts. The value of education for our students, their families and the church reflects these expansive and eternal expectations.
Elder Clark G. Gilbert is a General Authority Seventy for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and currently serves as commissioner of the Church Educational System. Alvin F. Meredith III is the president of Brigham Young University–Idaho. C. Shane Reese is the president of Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah.
In Quest of the Abundant Life
Lots to think about in this message from 1988 by Thomas S. Monson. I particularly enjoyed this passage:
God left the world unfinished for man to work his skill upon. He left the electricity in the cloud, the oil in the earth. He left the rivers unbridged and the forests unfelled and the cities unbuilt. God gives to man the challenge of raw materials, not the ease of finished things. He leaves the pictures unpainted and the music unsung and the problems unsolved, that man might know the joys and glories of creation.
In Quest of the Abundant Life
By President Thomas S. Monson
Second Counselor in the First Presidency
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1988/03/in-quest-of-the-abundant-life?lang=eng
What an exciting life is available for each one of us today! We may not be a John Cabot, sailing off into the blue with the king’s patent to discover new lands, nor a Captain James Cook, whose voyages of discovery carried him to the known ends of the earth. Captain Cook declared: “I had ambition not only to go farther than any man had ever been before, but as far as it was possible for a man to go.” But we can be explorers in spirit, with a mandate to make this world better by discovering improved ways of living and of doing things.
The spirit of exploration, whether it be of the surface of the earth, the vastness of space, or the principles of living greatly, includes developing the capacity to face trouble with courage; disappointment with cheerfulness; and triumph with humility.
God left the world unfinished for man to work his skill upon. He left the electricity in the cloud, the oil in the earth. He left the rivers unbridged and the forests unfelled and the cities unbuilt. God gives to man the challenge of raw materials, not the ease of finished things. He leaves the pictures unpainted and the music unsung and the problems unsolved, that man might know the joys and glories of creation.
Carl Sandberg described our possibilities: “I see [life] not in the setting sun of a black night of despair ahead of us. I see [life] in the crimson light of a rising sun, fresh from the burning creative hand of God. I see great days ahead, great days possible to men and women of will and vision.”
However, during the last half century, there has been a gradual but continual retreat from standards of excellence in many phases of our lives.
We observe business without morality; science without humanity; knowledge without character; worship without sacrifice; pleasure without conscience; politics without principle; and wealth without works.
Perhaps the renowned author Charles Dickens, without really realizing it, described our day when he spoke of a period two centuries ago. His classic A Tale of Two Cities begins:
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us.”
To measure the goodness of life by its delights and pleasures and safety is to apply a false standard. The abundant life does not consist of a glut of luxury. It does not make itself content with commercially produced pleasure, the nightclub idea of what is a good time, mistaking it for joy and happiness.
On the contrary, obedience to law, respect for others, mastery of self, joy in service—these constitute the abundant life.
Perhaps we would understand these essentials best if we discussed them on an individual basis.
1. Obedience to Law
We turn at once to that revered and renowned code of conduct that has guided mankind through every conceivable turmoil. In so doing, we seem to hear the echo of the voice from Mt. Sinai speaking to us today:
“Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
“Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image. …
“Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain. …
“Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. …
“Honour thy father and thy mother. …
“Thou shalt not kill.
“Thou shalt not commit adultery.
“Thou shalt not steal.
“Thou shalt not bear false witness. …
“Thou shalt not covet.” (Ex. 20:3–4, 7–8, 12–17.)
Cecil B. DeMille stated, after exhaustive research for the epic motion picture The Ten Commandments: “We cannot break the Ten Commandments. We can only break ourselves against them.” (Commencement Address, Brigham Young University, 31 May 1957, p. 3.)
Years after the law of Moses was given, there came the meridian of time, when a great endowment emerged—a power stronger than weapons, a wealth more lasting than the coins of Caesar; for the King of Kings and Lord of Lords stressed both the principles of law and the concept of love.
Do you remember the penetrating question of the inquiring lawyer? “Master, which is the great commandment in the law?”
More important, do you recall the divine answer? “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
“This is the first and great commandment.
“And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” (Matt. 22:36–39.)
These are the laws of God. Violate them and we suffer lasting consequences. Obey them and we reap everlasting joy.
Let us not overlook obedience to the laws of the land. They do not restrict our conduct so much as they guarantee our freedom, provide us protection, and safeguard all that is dear to us.
In our time, when otherwise honorable men bend the law, twist the law, and wink at violations of the law, when crime goes unpunished, legally imposed sentences go unserved, and irresponsible and illegal conduct soars beyond previously recorded heights, there is a very real need to return to the basic justice that the laws provide when honest men sustain them.
Coming as I do from the world of business, I also mention obedience to the laws, not theories, of economics. One cannot continually spend more than he earns and remain solvent. This law applies to nations as well as to men. A worker cannot, in the long run, adhere to a philosophy of something for nothing as opposed to something for something. Nor can management dismiss as optional the necessity of an adequate corporate profit and a reasonable return to shareholders if an economy of free enterprise is to flourish.
When economic decisions are based on theory rather than law, we find the chaos experienced a number of years ago in Uruguay:
“Labor wanted higher wages; industrialists wanted bigger income; but nobody wanted to do any work. Citizens thought more of their rights than of their obligations. The country’s vast web of social legislation redistributed wealth but did not create it. … Nobody had the vision to see that what Uruguay needed was production.” (John Gunther, Uruguay—Utopia Gone Wild.)
One person of wisdom observed, “Laws are the rules by which the game of life is played.” In reality, they are much more; for obedience to law is an essential requirement if we are to be successful in our quest for the abundant life.
2. Respect for Others
Let us learn respect for others if we are to realize the abundant life. Man, by nature, is tempted to seek only his glory and not the glory of his neighbor or the glory of his God. None of us lives alone—in our city, our nation, or our world. There is no dividing line between our prosperity and our neighbor’s poverty.
It is an immutable law that the more you give away, the more you receive. You make a living by what you get, but you make a life by what you give.
As the Apostle Paul observed in his charge to the elders, “Remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.” (Acts 20:35.) This is a truth more profound than most of us realize. Furthermore, it is a very practical truth. Many of the problems of our times arise out of an excess of receiving.
In no uncertain terms, the Lord spoke to us in the parable of the rich fool:
“Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.
“And he spake a parable unto them, saying, The ground of a certain rich man brought forth plentifully:
“And he thought within himself, saying, What shall I do, because I have no room where to bestow my fruits?
“And he said, This will I do: I will pull down my barns, and build greater; and there will I bestow all my fruits and my goods.
“And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry.
“But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided?
“So is he that layeth up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.” (Luke 12:15–21.)
Happiness abounds when there is genuine respect one for another. Particularly to those not yet married I counsel: Those who marry in the hope of forming a permanent partnership require certain skills and attitudes of mind. They must be skillful in adapting to each other; they need capacity to work out mutual problems; they need willingness to give and take in the search for harmony; and they need unselfishness of the highest sort—thought for their partners taking the place of desire for themselves. This is respect. It is part of our quest for the abundant life.
3. Mastery of Self
Perhaps the surest test of an individual’s integrity is his refusal to do or say anything that would damage his self-respect.
One teacher commented, “In the last analysis, I have to be true to myself; but it is a little tough to do that when I am being false to my students, because I’m a teacher not for my sake, but for the sake of my students. And if I do them any mental, physical, emotional, or social harm, then I drag them down with me into what ought to be, but cannot be, my own private purgatory.”
One of the requirements of life is to be able to make choices. In order to do so, one must know how to look at things and at oneself. One must also learn that to live means being able to cope with difficulties; problems are a normal part of life, and the great thing is to avoid being flattened by them.
The battle for self-mastery may leave a person a bit bruised and battered, but always a better man or woman. Self-mastery is a rigorous process at best; too many of us want it to be effortless and painless.
Some spurn effort and substitute an alibi. We hear the plea, “I was denied the advantages others had in their youth.” And then we remember the caption that Webster, the cartoonist, placed under a sketch of Abraham Lincoln’s log cabin: “Ill-housed, ill-fed, ill-clothed.”
Others say, “I am physically limited.” History is replete with people possessing physical limitations. Homer could have sat at the gates of Athens, being pitied and fed by coins from the rich. He, like Milton, the poet, and Prescott, the historian, had good alibis—they were blind. Demosthenes, greatest of all great orators, had a wonderful alibi—his lungs were weak, his voice hoarse and unmusical, and he stuttered. Beethoven was stone deaf at middle age. They all had good alibis—but they never used them.
Today’s world moves at an increasingly rapid pace. Scientific achievements are fantastic, advances in medicine are phenomenal, and the probings of the inner secrets of earth and the outer limits of space leave one amazed and in awe.
In our science-oriented age, we conquer space but cannot control self; hence, we forfeit peace.
Through modern science, man has been permitted to fly through space at great speeds and to silently and without effort cruise sixty days under water in nuclear-powered ships. Now that man can fly like a bird and swim like a fish, would that he could learn to walk on earth like a man.
Amazing as has been man’s exploration of space, his achievements on earth have been scarcely less remarkable. “The computer,” says Time magazine, “is in fact the largely unsung hero of the thrust into space. Computers carefully check out all systems before launch, keep track of the spacecraft’s position in the heavens, plot trajectories and issue precise commands to astronauts. These fabulous machines are changing the world of business, they have given new horizons to the fields of science and medicine, changed the techniques of education and improved the efficiency of government.”
Could it be that these machines that can add, multiply, divide, sort, eliminate, and remember will someday be able to think? The answer is definitely negative. While the computer is an advance in man’s thinking processes as radical as the invention of writing, it is neither the symbol of the Millennium nor a flawless rival of the human brain. There are limits to human genius. Man can devise the most complex machines, but he cannot give them life or bestow upon them the powers of reason and judgment.
Why? Because these are divine gifts, bestowed solely at God’s discretion.
God made a computer once, constructing it with infinite care and precision exceeding that of the efforts of all the scientists combined. Using clay for the main structure, he installed within it a system for the continuous intake of information of all kinds and descriptions, by sight, hearing, and feeling; a circulatory system to keep all channels constantly clean and serviceable; a digestive system to preserve its strength and vigor; and a nervous system to keep all parts in constant communication and coordination. It far surpassed the finest modern computer and was equally dead. It was equipped to memorize and calculate and work out the most complex equation, but there was something lacking.
Then God “breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.” (Gen. 2:7.)
This is why man has powers no modern computer possesses or ever will possess. God gave man life and with it the power to think and reason and decide and love. With such power given to you and to me, mastery of self becomes a necessity if we are to have the abundant life.
4. Joy in Service
To find real happiness, we must seek for it in a focus outside ourselves. No one has learned the meaning of living until he has surrendered his ego to the service of his fellowmen. Service to others is akin to duty, the fulfillment of which brings true joy.
Winston Churchill, as he addressed the people of the British Commonwealth as peace dawned on a weary world, said:
“The unconditional surrender of our enemies was a signal for the greatest outburst of joy in the history of mankind. The Second World War had indeed been fought to the bitter end in Europe. The vanquished as well as the victors felt inexpressible relief. But for us in Britain and the British Empire, who had alone been in the struggle from the first day to the last and staked our existence on the result, there was a sublime meaning behind it all. Weary and worn, impoverished but undaunted and now triumphant, we had a moment that was sublime. We gave thanks to God for the noblest of all His blessings—the sense that we had done our duty.”
Each of us can be a leader. We need to remember that the mantle of leadership is not the cloak of comfort, but the robe of responsibility. Perhaps our service is to youth. If so, I caution: “Youth needs fewer critics and more models.” One hundred years from now it will not matter what kind of a car we drove, what kind of a house we lived in, how much we had in the bank account, nor what our clothes looked like. But the world may be a little better because we were important in the life of a boy or a girl.
Dr. Hans Selye wisely said: “Neither wealth, nor force, nor any other instrument of power can ever be more reliable in assuring our security and peace of mind than the knowledge of having inspired gratitude in a great many people.” (The Stress of Life, New York: McGraw-Hill, 1956, p. 287.)
This is the joy that comes through service.
Our training, our experience, our knowledge are tools to be skillfully used. They have been self-acquired. Our conscience, our love, our faith are delicate and precious instruments to guide our destiny. They have been God-given.
May each of us realize a full measure of success in his personal quest for the abundant life through obedience to law, respect for others, mastery of self, joy in service.
And in so doing, may the peace proffered by Jesus Christ, the author of the abundant life, ever be ours.
Overview lens and perspective
To help establish Zion, it's useful to have an "Overview" lens and perspective.
_____
Excerpted from
"Seeing God’s Family through the Overview Lens"
By Sister Tamara W. Runia
First Counselor in the Young Women General Presidency
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2023/10/33runia?lang=eng
Tonight, I invite you to zoom out and look through a different lens—an eternal lens that focuses on the big picture, your bigger story.
During humankind’s early push into space, the unmanned rockets had no windows. But by the Apollo 8 mission to the moon, the astronauts had one. While floating in space, they were struck by the power of seeing our earth and took this spectacular image, capturing the whole world’s attention! Those astronauts experienced a sensation so powerful it has been given its own name: the overview effect.
NASA
Viewing from a new vantage point changes everything. One space traveler said it “reduces things to a size that you think everything is manageable. … We can do this. Peace on earth—no problem. It gives people that type of energy … that type of power.”1
As humans, we have an earthbound point of view, but God sees the grand overview of the universe. He sees all creation, all of us, and is filled with hope.
Is it possible to begin to see as God sees even while living on the surface of this planet—to feel this overview feeling? I believe we can, through the eye of faith, zoom out and view ourselves and our families with hope and joy.
The scriptures agree. Moroni speaks about those whose faith was so “exceedingly strong” that they “truly saw … with an eye of faith, and they were glad.”2
With an eye focused on the Savior, they felt joy and knew this truth: because of Christ, it all works out. Everything you and you and you are worried about—it’s all going to be OK! And those who look with an eye of faith can feel that it’s going to be OK now.
I went through a rough patch my senior year in high school when I wasn’t making great choices. I remember seeing my mom crying, and I wondered if I’d disappointed her. At the time, I worried that her tears meant she’d lost hope for me, and if she didn’t feel hope for me, maybe there wasn’t a way back.
But my dad was more practiced at zooming out and taking the long view. He’d learned from experience that worry feels a lot like love, but it’s not the same.3 He used the eye of faith to see that everything would work out, and his hopeful approach changed me.
When I graduated from high school and went to BYU, my dad sent letters reminding me of who I was. He became my cheerleader, and everybody needs a cheerleader—someone who isn’t telling you, “You’re not running fast enough”; they’re lovingly reminding you that you can.
Dad exemplified Lehi’s dream. Like Lehi, he knew that you don’t chase after your loved ones who feel lost. “You stay where you are and call them. You go to the tree, stay at the tree, keep eating the fruit and, with a smile on your face, continue to beckon to those you love and show by example that eating the fruit is a happy thing!”4
This visual image has helped me during low moments when I find myself at the tree, eating the fruit and crying because I’m worried; and really, how helpful is that? Instead, let’s choose hope—hope in our Creator and in one another, fueling our ability to be better than we are right now.
Shortly after Elder Neal A. Maxwell passed away, a reporter asked his son what he’d miss most. He said dinners at his parents’ house because he always left feeling like his dad believed in him.
This was around the time our adult children were starting to come home for Sunday dinners with their spouses. During the week, I found myself making lists in my mind of things I could remind them of on Sunday, like “Maybe try and help out more with the kids when you’re home” or “Don’t forget to be a good listener.”
When I read Brother Maxwell’s comment, I threw away the lists and silenced that critical voice, so when I saw my grown children for that brief time each week, I focused on the many positive things they were already doing. When our oldest son, Ryan, passed away a few years later, I remember being grateful our time together was happier and more positive.
Before we interact with a loved one, can we ask ourselves the question “Is what I’m about to do or say helpful or hurtful?” Our words are one of our superpowers, and family members are like human blackboards, standing in front of us saying, “Write what you think of me!” These messages, whether intentional or unintentional, should be hopeful and encouraging.5
Our job is not to teach someone who’s going through a rough patch that they are bad or disappointing. On rare occasions we may feel prompted to correct, but most often let’s tell our loved ones in spoken and unspoken ways the messages they long to hear: “Our family feels whole and complete because you are in it.” “You will be loved for the rest of your life—no matter what.”
Sometimes what we need is empathy more than advice; listening more than a lecture; someone who hears and wonders, “How would I have to feel to say what they just said?”
Remember, families are a God-given laboratory where we’re figuring things out, so missteps and miscalculations are not just possible but probable. And wouldn’t it be interesting if, at the end of our lives, we could see that those relationships, even those challenging moments, were the very things that helped us to become more like our Savior? Each difficult interaction is an opportunity to learn how to love at a deeper level—a godlike level.6
Let’s zoom out to view family relationships as a powerful vehicle to teach us the lessons we came here to learn as we turn to the Savior.
Let’s admit, in a fallen world there’s no way to be a perfect spouse, parent, son or daughter, grandchild, mentor, or friend—but a million ways to be a good one.7 Let’s stay at the tree, partake of the love of God, and share it. By lifting the people around us, we ascend together.
Unfortunately, the memory of eating the fruit is not enough; we need to partake again and again in ways that reposition our lens and connect us to the heavenly overview by opening up the scriptures, which are filled with light, to chase away the darkness, staying on our knees until our casual prayer turns mighty. This is when hearts soften, and we begin to see as God sees.
In these last days, perhaps our greatest work will be with our loved ones—good people living in a wicked world. Our hope changes the way they see themselves and who they really are. And through this lens of love, they’ll see who they will become.
But the adversary does not want us or our loved ones to return home together. And because we live on a planet that is bound by time and a finite number of years,8 he tries to perpetuate a very real sense of panic in us. It’s hard to see, when we’re zoomed in, that our direction matters more than our speed.
Remember, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”9 Thankfully, the God we worship is not bound by time. He sees who our loved ones really are and who we really are.10 So He’s patient with us, hoping we’ll be patient with each other.
I will admit there are times when earth, our temporal home, feels like an island of sorrow—moments when I have one eye of faith and the other eye is weeping.11 Do you know this feeling?
I had it Tuesday.
Can we instead choose the faithful posture of our prophet when he promises miracles in our families? If we do, our joy will increase even if turbulence increases. He’s promising that an overview effect can be experienced now, regardless of our circumstances.12
Having this eye of faith now is a recapturing, or an echo, of the faith we had before we came to this planet. It sees past the uncertainty of a moment, allowing us to “cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then … stand still.”13
Is there something difficult in your life right now, something you’re worried can’t be resolved? Without the eye of faith, that might feel like God has lost oversight of things, and is that true?
Or maybe your greater fear is that you’re going to go through this difficult time all by yourself, but that would mean God has abandoned you, and is that true?
It is my witness that the Savior has the ability, because of His Atonement, to turn any nightmare you are going through into a blessing. He has given us a promise “with an immutable covenant” that as we strive to love and follow Him, “all things wherewith [we] have been afflicted shall work together for [our] good.”14 All things.
And because we are children of the covenant, we can ask for this hopeful feeling now!
While our families aren’t perfect, we can perfect our love for others until it becomes a constant, unchanging, no-matter-what kind of love—the type of love that supports change and allows for growth and return.
It’s the Savior’s work to bring our loved ones back. It’s His work and His timing. It is our work to provide the hope and a heart they can come home to. “We have neither [God’s] authority to condemn nor His power to redeem, but we have been authorized to exercise His love.”15 President Nelson has also taught that others need our love more than our judgment. “They need to experience the pure love of Jesus Christ reflected in [our] words and actions.”16
Love is the thing that changes hearts. It is the purest motive of all, and others can feel it. Let’s hold fast to these prophetic words offered 50 years ago: “No home is a failure unless it quits trying.”17 Surely, those who love the most and the longest win!
In earthly families, we’re simply doing what God has done with us—pointing the way and hoping our loved ones will go in that direction, knowing the path they travel is theirs to choose.
And when they pass to the other side of the veil and draw close to that loving “gravitational pull” of their heavenly home,18 I believe it will feel familiar because of how they were loved here.
Let’s use that overview lens and see the people we love and live with as shared companions on this beautiful planet.
You and I? We can do this! We can hold on and hope on! We can stay at the tree and partake of the fruit with a smile on our face, letting the Light of Christ in our eyes become something others can count on in their darkest hours. As they see light manifest in our countenances, they will be drawn to it. We can then help refocus their attention to the original source of love and light, “the bright and morning star,” Jesus Christ.19
I bear my testimony that this—all of this—is going to turn out so much better than we could ever imagine! With an eye of faith on Jesus Christ, may we see that everything will be all right in the end and feel that it will be all right now. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.





